Greetings

Do me a favor.  If you see me, just say hello.  Or hi.  Or hey.  Or yo.  

Or don't even say anything at all.  You can nod, or smile, or just 

widen your eyes in my direction.  Wave.  Tip your hat.  Salute me.  

Ignore me.  Flip me the bird.  They're all good.

But don't ask me how I am.  Don't ask me how I've been.  Don't ask 

me what's goin' on.  Or how it's goin'.  Because unless you really

 know me, you don't give a shit.  And everybody does it.

Good morning.  Good afternoon.  Good evening.  All fine too.  

Simple salutations that really don't require you to think of a response 

other than to return the salutation, or to say hello, hi, or hey.  

Or not even say anything at all.

Don't mention the weather.  That's the biggest cop-out for a lack of 

something original to say.  Forget saying 'how-about-them_______s?'

Chances are, your team is them_______'s archrivals.  And nobody 

really wants to know how life is treating you, unless it's worse than 

life's treating them.

I went to buy a half a sub today for lunch before my bike ride.  After

ordering, there was the awkward couple of minutes standing in front

of the counter while they constructed the sandwich.  Finally, the girl

said, 'will that be all?'  Yes, thanks.  'How've you been?' she asked.

Defense mechanisms automatically kicked in, knowing that I hadn't

been there in a while.  'Good.  I haven't been in in a while, and I got

the hankerin'.'  She got me.  She meant well, but immediately I felt

guilty in a way for not having been in more recently.  It was weird.

I went and ate my sandwich and then rode my bike for a couple 

hours.  I burped oil and vinegar the whole time. I should have had 

something at home instead.  My dog doesn't give a shit about how
I'm doing.  And that's fine with me.