829 Southdrive

829 Southdrive

A New Jersey state of mind

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

The right thing to do

To all the parents of kids out there with Facebooks:
How about we do a little bit more monitoring of what
our offspring are posting on their public bulletin boards?
I personally do not have a Facebook account, but my
wife and older daughter do, and just like a bad car
wreck, or the "Real Housewives of New Jersey",
I cannot tear myself away from tuning in.  In defense
of my daughter, she shows good taste and restraint
when posting, which is more than I can say for some
of the younger kids with whom I am acquainted.
I mean, HELLO......are you parents reading what
your kids are writing?  I'm thinking not, I hope.
 I've been around the block more than a few times in
my almost 50 years, but some of this stuff even makes
me blush.  There were remedies for this kind of 
indescretion when I was young:  A wooden spoon.
A leather belt.  The bare hand.  The Phi Kappa Psi
fraternity paddle.  None of which are accepted forms
of discipline these days.  And that's okay,  I guess.
These parents about whom I speak probably don't 
read my blog. But if they do, I'm sorry.  We come 
from the same generation, but apparently not 
from the same cut of jib.  What our kids say, I feel, 
has a direct reflection on who we are as parents.
Call me old-fashioned.  I'll take that as a compliment.  

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  1. I, too, am appalled at what some kids are putting up on Facebook. What I find especially revolting is that it's the youngest kids putting up the most risque material. My son (who has just reached the age to get a horizontal driver's license) and his friends are a little ribald, but not too bad. It's the 13-year-olds who set themselves up as would-be prostitutes, or worse.

    Yes, I know girls of that age want to look mature, but what is mature about making oneself into a sex toy for anybody and everybody on the Internet? What's mature is dressing in a way that is dignified, that acknowledges one's femininity without demeaning it, and acting in a manner that says, "Yes, I'm a woman, and I'd like you to like me, but I'm not going to be anybody's toy."

    My son has told me that he wouldn't ever want to have anything to do with the girls who give themselves away. And he has proved that with his choice of girlfriends -- they have all been very strong women, even when they were just 16.

    So pass this word on to your daughter. If she stays strong, she can hold out for a guy who truly deserves her.

  2. I had an account but closed it after only a couple of weeks. In addition to what you point out here, I just can't see being so "connected" all the time, having to post everything I do, and having everyone be able to read about it. Call ME old fashioned, but some things should be private. Kudos Baydog.

    WV: huall - what you do to raise the anchor

  3. Baydog - You are spot on. I choose not to partake in the "social media" platform that will haunt these kids until Skynet takes over.

    Please advise if you see any posts that concern you that are related to me, including my wife!!

    Sad commentary on the times we live in today.


  4. I think that there is a floor with facebook in that you can't have different types of friend, different groups for (say) family, work, sailing, etc

    I'm not a parent so not directly familiar with that problem, though can imagine it. I've told a number of parents of teenagers to just switch off the internet if they won't stop facebooking and do some homework

  5. A friend at work says his teenage son is logging over 5000 text messages a month (my friend would know - he pays the cell phone bill).

    Five thousand. Do the math.

    If he sleeps eight hours a day, that leaves 16 hours per day, or 480 hours per month, for texting. That works out to a text message every six minutes for every conscious hour of his life.

    But I don't think his phone is waterproof, so he's probably not texting in the shower. The average, then, must be more frequent than every six minutes.

    Or maybe now that he has an iPhone, he doesn't shower any more.

  6. I agree with you all but... having pulled out of facebook last year I decided to get back to use it to KNOW. If you don't use it you are out of it and then you can't say anything. I don't know if I'm very clear. I mean you have to be in it to be able to fight it. ...and besides it's not all bad!